Asian stereotypes

Yesterday, I left you with the promise of detailing how I fit (or don't) into some common Asian stereotypes.

A couple caveats before we begin:

• I'm not trying to be racist here. A few statements made will be based on other long-standing stereotypes, some of which may also be offensive.
• My experiences are based on just that - my experiences. I grew up in white, middle-class America. All the Korean kids I knew were the offspring of doctors and professors, with a couple grocers thrown in. Obviously, these experiences don't hold true for all Koreans, let alone all Asians, let alone all people.
• Take this post as a set of observations, not as some sort of societal indictment.

Now that that's out of the way, on to the stereotypes. First, a couple of serious ones...

Asians are smart
No argument here. Now, whether you want to argue that Koreans are naturally intelligent or a product of hard work and oppressively dictatorial parents (or both) is another matter entirely...

Me, I'm all about working smarter, not harder.

Asians work hard
No argument here, either. My parents are two of the hardest working people I know. However, this might have more to do with being first-generation immigrants than with native work ethic (it doesn't). All immigrant groups work hard because they want to assimilate and be perceived as being of value to the community. Look at it this way: you're new, and you look different. Do you want to be seen as lazy and wasteful on top of that? That's a good way to get harrassed and run out of town.

Me, I'm all about working smarter, not harder.

Asians are cheap
Sadly enough, I've experienced this to be true. I could say that Koreans are cheap because of the great dearth of resources following the Korean War. You see a lot of the same behavior from survivors of the Great Depression; if you have to scratch for every last penny to survive, you tend to hoard resources even after you're flush.

But let's face it, Asians are cheap. My brethren in the service industry know. Which tables do you dread getting? Which ones do you know are going to stiff you on the tip? Which ones complain about miniscule issues to get items removed from bills? Which ones break out calculators to properly divvy up a bill, right down to the last penny?

That's right, German tourists. But right after them, it's Asians. I'd mention other groups, but no one likes a finger-pointer.

Me, I grew up in relative financial security and work in the service industry. I could probably stand to be a little less spendy.

Now for the frivolous ones...

All Asians know karate
C'mon. Really? This usually comes as a prelude to a fight or some challenge of masculinity.

Me, I know some tae kwon do, mainly to kick the asses of fucktards who ask me if I know karate.

All Asians play violin
That's wrong. Some of us play viola or cello or piano.

Me, I play sax and a little bass guitar. I used to pride myself on the fact that I didn't play a stringed instrument until I joined a band in high school.

All Asians drive rice grinders
False. This is something of a generational thing. It's mostly younger Asians (see also AZNs) who spend $9000 on after-market parts to soup up their $8000 Honda p.o.s.

Me, I'm married and live in San Francisco. I don't own a car. But I still haul ass in my wife's Camry.

OK, out of time. Please feel free to comment and add more. Or perhaps comment on stereotypes of your own ethnicity / religion / sexual orientation. Have fun with it.